“Hey, Kirk, have you heard the new Black Sabbath album?” At first, I thought this question was a prank, because I had no idea that Sabbath had a new album in the works, which I admit I felt pretty stupid about. My initial response was “wait…WHAT?!” I haven’t loved a Black Sabbath album as much as this new one since I listened to Sabbath Bloody Sabbath when I was 11 (yeah, I was corrupted pretty early).
I literally thought I would never hear a new Black Sabbath album this bad ass ever again, but can you blame me? It’s topping the charts in the U.K. and they haven’t done that in 43 years. I grew up in the 90’s, and I would watch the Osborne’s reality show witnessing Ozzy’s mental health deteriorate after every episode. I could barely understand a word he was saying, they even started giving him subtitles. In this album however, it’s like he took a dip into a Lazarus pit, and recorded the after effects of his temporary insanity. If you’re not a Batman fan, then you probably don’t understand that reference, but I don’t give a shit. Go ditch your girlfriend and go buy some Batman comics, you douche bag.
Anyways, my point is that Ozzy is freaking 64 years old, and he sounds as young as he was when ‘Blizzard of Oz’ was made. That’s pretty god damn impressive. Tony Iommi is back, and not even cancer could even keep this guy down from showing modern day musicians how to kick ass. Bill Ward (no, not Robin the boy wonder from the 60’s Batman show...that’s BURT Ward!), is also back in the drummers seat, and still knows how to keep a beat that cries metal! If you’re a metal fan, you know damn well that Sabbath was the ‘Captain America’ of where that shit came from, and just like Captain America, the old Gods of heavy metal have arisen from their icey hiatus to remind us how to head bang the right way, not that pussy-ass Metallica way (Yes, I’m kidding. Put that sword down).
-Kirk the Intern
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